Celebrating Yourself – The Best Habit You Can Create This Year...
...and what happens in our lives when we don't celebrate ourselves.
I've been a bad girl...I haven't been celebrating myself.
In fact, I've been really hard on myself lately, which is why this post is so timely,
Because I know better.
And now I'm going to do better because I'm outing myself so hard right now 😅
Let's unveil the beauty that happens when we develop "Celebration" as a habit in our life and what to do when we fall out of sync with it 💕
It's such a love story we get to experience with God on our side,
especially when we're purpose-driven women.
But there are times in life when we notice we're starting to feel a little far away from God, maybe a bit purposeless, maybe confused about what we heard Him say.
We look ahead into the year and wonder if our dreams are actually going to come true this year,
And we realize our "hope" meter somehow got low along the way (even though it's only February, dear Lord).
Why am I feeling this way, God? - we ask...
It usually comes down to a few things that I'll highlight for the rest of today's newsletter:
A belief that God won't provide for us after all
A belief that we have to "do it all" alone, or by ourselves
A disappointment based on past failures
Un-forgiveness for someone else, or ourselves
Bitterness for things "never working out for us"
These are so hard to type, but so real in my own heart at times.
I'd like to think I'm Miss Perfect, thinking positive thoughts, calling on God's word the second the enemy tries to attack, praising His name even in the hard times...
Nope.
Last Thursday I just had to tell God that I'm taking a day to be an ungrateful bitter bitch-ass...and I knew I'd ask for forgiveness on Friday.
But something beautiful happened when I allowed myself to have that "day"...
I woke up on Friday morning and realized:
God didn't condemn me
He wasn't angry at me for taking a day
He had no plans to punish me for being angry with Him
The emotions had passed and I felt clear again
And I haven't asked for forgiveness yet, but we'll finish today's newsletter with just that, a prayer to acknowledge the times we really needed a day to be not-so-Job-like
I realize that one day, maybe I'll get to the maturity level to allow myself a "day" without cursing or letting myself get to bitterness for things I've experienced in my past...
Because this attitude affects me in so many ways:
I develop a habit of undervaluing my achievements, undervaluing myself
I become overly focused and controlling on what need's to happen next
I negatively impact my self-esteem
I miss tons of opportunity to inspire others
I get burnt out
Which is where I've chosen to turn this around, for you (if you're feeling this way lately), and especially for me.
I'm keeping it simple today:
Here's How To Create A Habit Of Celebrating Yourself.
Let's address the Spiritual first:
If you're anything like me, you could pass on putting yourself in the spotlight, but that's exactly what I had to become comfortable with.
My midwest Christian roots taught me:
Serve others, put yourself last
Focusing on yourself is vanity
Too much spotlight on you is the devil
Just don't make this about you
But if there's anything I've learned on my 9-year personal development and Spirit-filled Christian journey:
THIS ENTIRE THING IS ABOUT YOU.
And this must be about you first so that you can overflow that goodness onto others.
Ultimately this is about serving The Body of Christ, and the Bible was clear when it explains how Holy Spirit operates in our hearts as born-again Believers.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God." – Romans 8:26-27
Now let's address the Mental:
Our brains are wired to create habits, whether they're habits that hurt us or help us in our growth journey.
The amazing part is that we get to choose these habits once we become aware of the kind of life we want to create, what we want to see, what we want to feel, who we want around, etc.
Our results are created from our habits
Our habits are created from our stories
Our stories are created from our values
Values: These are the basis for how we live our life. And the stories we're telling ourselves in our heads are based off of whether we're succeeding or failing at living these values.
Stories: These are the stories we're telling ourselves inside of our head and sometimes what we're actually saying out loud. Sometimes we're aware of the stories and sometimes we're not aware of them until we take time to write them down.
Habits: These are the consistent behaviors we do each day/week/month/year that bring about certain results in our lives whether they're positive or negative results.
My Process For Celebrating Myself (10 min Exercise)
Ok babes, this is where you'll take a few minutes to write down some of your stories (pen and paper OR your phone notes is fine), and I promise you it'll change your life...what Holy Spirit does when I've taken women through this process is nothing short of an actual miracle.
Ready to write?
Take a deep breathe with me - ↑ inhale - ↓ exhale...
Amazing...Let's go...
Step 1: Write down stories of 3 times when someone complimented you (this could be surface level or a deep compliment about your character)
Ex: I've been working out for 4 months now and it took a while for me to get in the gym. I started out taking progress pictures and my butt was really flat and I hoped that the booty plan I was on would change that. In December I feel like I hit a plateau until I started taking longer resting periods and then my muscles really started to grow. Last Wednesday, while I was doing glute exercises, one of the girls at the gym who is so gorgeous and works really hard on her body stopped to compliment me. She said "Wow girl, great job, I can see your progress and your butt looks amazing." I smiled at her, I was so shy but it felt so amazing to have that kind of recognition. I've been doing a really great job in the gym.
Step 2: Write down 3 stories when you accomplished something as a child
Step 3: Write down your top 3 biggest ways God has showed up for you as an adult
Step 4: Choose 1 story you wrote and read it out loud
Step 5: Read the same story again, out loud, at a slower pace, slower than feels comfortable
Step 6: When you're done, take a deep breath and notice how you feel about the story. Write some things that you're feeling, noticing, thinking
Step 7: Read that same story 1 more time; this time, read it slow but with a deep breath in between each sentence - ↑ inhale - ↓ exhale...
Step 8: Notice how you feel about the story now. What has shifted in your mind and your heart about you and what you're capable of?
At this point when I'm doing this exercise, I can't help but feel Joy. And not a fake made-up joy, but a joy that comes from deep within.
You see, when Holy Spirit reveals Himself in the valuable accomplishments in your life or connections you've had with others through compliments, and when you read these stories and couple them with breath...something beautiful starts to happen...
You start to know and believe you are worthy, valued, beautiful, and celebrated.
Why?
Because these stories, YOUR stories that you just wrote down, are evidence of all of these being true.
If you get a chance sometime this week, please do yourself a favor and practice this exercise on a few of the other stories you wrote out.
I'm already starting to feel better by just knowing I'm going to write my stories down as soon as I'm done writing this newsletter 😅
In conclusion:
What Life Looks Like When You're Great At Celebrating Yourself
That funk I've been feeling, and maybe the funk you've been feeling, will immediately start to melt away when we go through the exercise above.
When we focus our eyes on Him, who is the Abundance of our lives, we being to see the abundance everywhere. A funk is nothing more than an inability to be connected to the goodness of God.
And it's completely normal to get in a funk every once and a while, so I hope this tool helps you when you do.
Creating a life where you're celebrating yourself everyday looks like:
Waking up with thanks and vitality
Noticing beauty and opportunity everywhere
Feeling compelled to help others, pray for them, help them be free and heal
Thinking and feeling clearly
Producing fruits of the Spirit in many areas of our lives
Only seeing opportunity for more celebration
I want this for you, and for me: To be women who see endless opportunities to celebrate ourselves and each other for the things we've accomplished and experienced.
It's only up from there 💕
I promised God that I would ask for forgiveness for my bad attitude this week, and if you're needing to say a prayer for this as well, let's do it together:
Pray it with me: Father in heaven, thank you for who you are and for your Son that you gave for my freedom. Thank you for your Holy Spirit who operates in my heart so that I may serve the Body in accordance with your will. I repent and I ask Father that you forgive me for forgetting your goodness, for pushing aside your abundance and for focusing on lack, disbelief, disappointment and bitterness. I only partner with your Holy Spirit's gifts for me and I thank you that I'm filled with your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I pray that you teach me how to celebrate myself and others on a daily basis, that this may become my default way of thinking. I pray all of this in Jesus's Mighty Name, Amen.
Babes, I love you so much, I will see you in next week's newsletter.
xoxo,
Lauren